1 year ago-
Posts
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Hi, everyone-
I have received several questions about how to use the forum and what’s OK to post. I thought I would share my answers with all members so that we start on the same page about what the Benedictine CARE forum is and how it differs (significantly) from social media.
First of all, I want to recognize all the initial activity and engagement already starting on the forum. We are off to a strong start. So let’s build on that.
Using our Virtual Benedictine Community
Most importantly, the forum is our way of practicing our Benedictine monastic value of Community throughout the month outside of group meetings.
As introduced in Benedictine CARE Chapter 1:
The Benedictine value of Community is something that stretches us and requires our participation. Community as a monastic value is asking ourselves what we can contribute to the community, asking how we can be of service to it, rather than waiting to see if it meets our individual needs first.
The emphasis here is on practicing Community “as a monastic value”.
Culturally, we don’t do community well and there aren’t many examples teaching us how to do it better. We long for it, and organizations and institutions talk about it, but in most instances, these actually take us away from Community. Social media allows for quick, anonymous posting or “just watching”, consuming conversations, judging voices without personally contributing, all reinforcing our autonomy and isolation.
But here’s the gift that looking at it through the lens of monastic values brings: monastic communities are schools for learning how to be in community. It starts immediately when greeting a new member or guest to the community. The Benedictine Tradition is rooted in extending the warmest example of Hospitality most will ever experience.
And the important part here, once we are a member of a Benedictine community, is that this doesn’t mean Hospitality is just for us to experience, that we always get to feel embraced and accepted (which is true!) but what is harder to believe is that WE are TRUSTED to EXTEND that hospitality back to those we encounter. That OUR VOICE and OUR PRESENCE is THE source of this warmth and acceptance. That is the critical transformation of not just having an experience of Benedictine spirituality but starting to live it!
And that is what Benedictine CARE is all about. Embodying the monastic values, trusting ourselves and our own voice (our Lighter voice, our inner wisdom and truth), to LIVE our spirituality. And like all patterns worth establishing, it takes practice!! And this is it, this is the point of monastic Community. Practicing together.
Here’s what this looks like:
- First, imagine the forum like a virtual table at a favorite cafe, in a warm kitchen, or in our meeting room at the monastery, personalize it, and personalize the voices that post here (you can practice our FUN goal of remembering a possible smile shared with that individual when you were together)
- The next part is simple – respond like you would if you were in person at this table; if you had something to share or ask, do that; if you were sitting there and were asked a question or heard someone share an experience, respond as you would in person;
- Please practice generosity and courteousness, if someone responded to your question or idea, do acknowledge and thank their presence in the conversation
Using the forum really is this simple. If you were in a small breakout group, you would trust yourself with what to say and if you didn’t, you would trust yourself to try. And sometimes the most sacred trying is just being there and saying “I don’t know, either”. Even if I was there and contributed to the conversation, your voice would still be needed and valued! I am only one voice and could very likely not be the voice that individual needs to hear that day! You absolutely never know what one word or suggestion that person might need that day and it very well could be needed from you!
And this is practicing Community. Trying, sometimes feeling like you might have gotten it wrong, being accepted anyway, and building trust that just your presence was enough. And at other times, it means being on the other side and feeling vulnerable and withdrawn. But even when we are withdrawn, we need trusted others. There is no wrong way to be (well, technically there is if one is abusive and inappropriate but I can’t imagine this group needs that follow-up post on forum etiquette.)
Does this give us a foundation to build from now? Are there other questions or suggestions? You can start practicing that your voice is needed and valuable right here as a reply to this post!
I am so grateful for each of you. Your strengths and abilities are so varied and lovely. I am so excited for this community as they are all brought forward.
Please be encouraged to introduce yourself here, too!
Teri
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@Good morning to all! I joined because I need the spiritual component refreshed in my life. I belong to a wonderful fitness community and love working out – at the age of 68 I am more fit than I have ever been. Casey – I have thought often of joining OA as I sometimes have issues with binge eating and have never been able to maintain a weight loss for more than a couple of years. For me, I think this program may be very helpful in that regard through stopping and reflecting on what is going on with me at the moment and reconnecting with my spirit side. I have read Stability of Intention twice because it’s easy to gloss over important points the first time reading through material. I’m looking forward to Saturday’s meeting. As to what makes me smile – a dog will do it every time!
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@Hello, all.
This week I plan to practice “sitting at the form table” with you.
Teresa
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